Dude Looks Like A Lady
by Adeline-Eveline
Summary: When Matt discovers a song that may apply to Mello, hell breaks loose. Crack. T for Mello's excessive cursing and a surprise at the end.


**Dude Looks Like A Lady**

Mello was not having a good day.

Matt had picked up the habit of yelling "Dude looks like a lady!" every time Mello walked by him.

The first time it happened was at their house. He had just been walking by, minding his own businesses, when all of a sudden Matt came out of nowhere with a stupid grin on his face.

"What the hell, Matt?" Mello scowled.

"I heard a song that reminded me of you," Matt replied innocently. "Wanna hear it?"

"No thanks," Mello pushed him out of the way and continued to walk, but Matt grabbed his hand and started to drag him.

"Fuck! Let go, Matt!"

Matt ignored his screaming and took him into the living room, setting him on the couch. He took a mirror out of his pocket and handed it to Mello.

"…Why did you just give me a mirror?"

"Cause," Matt began to giggle. "Dude looks like a lady!"

Mello made a face that could make babies cry, but Matt dropped to the floor and began to laugh anyways.

"Ahahaha… you get it? You look like a girl…" He could barely breathe, he was laughing so hard.

"Matt…"

Matt froze. He knew that tone; it was his _I'm gonna make you fucking bleed_tone.

He immediately stopped laughing and sat up, trying to look as cute as possible to soften Mello's mood.

It didn't work. Mello roared and tackled Matt, making him scream like a little girl.

…

Several punches later, Matt was sitting in the bathtub with a bloody nose.

Mello was lying on his bed, a triumphant smile on his face.

But that was then.

Matt had grown confident that Mello wouldn't hurt him and was putting on more… dramatic performances.

Like right now. Mello was sitting in the garage, watching with a _what the fuck_look on his face as Matt stepped out from behind a "curtain" (really old sheets hanging from the ceiling, hung up by duct tape) wearing a bikini top and bottom along with a blonde wig. And, his face was smeared with makeup. Were those _heels?_ He wore a nametag that said in big, bold letters:

_**Mello.**_

Mello scowled. Was Matt supposed to be dressed up as him? Mello looked _nothing_like that. And if he _was_a girl, he'd be much prettier!

Matt did some stupid twirl dance move and Mello's scowl deepened when he heard Aerosmith's _Dude Looks Like A Lady_begin to play.

Near and L (where the _fuck_did they come from?) emerged from behind the curtain and each put a look of mock surprise on, mouthing the words "Dude looks like a lady!" to match Aerosmith's voice while pointing at Matt.

Matt gasped and spun around, looking offended, and stomped away. Watari jumped in front of him, also mouthing "Dude looks like a lady!"

Mello's lip twitched. He did _not_walk like that. Since when did Mihael Keehlsway his hips!

They all walked to the middle and began to dance in sync. The dance moves were poorly choreographed; it consisted of lifting your right arm, putting in down, kicking, spinning, then lifting your left arm, putting it down, kicking and spinning.

L stood in front and did a roundhouse kick, bursting with pride. Matt took his place and pulled a chocolate bar out of his bikini, unwrapping it and taking a bite. The "SNAP!" echoed through the garage. Watari then stepped forward, doing a weird touchdown dance. Near whipped his hair back and forth enthusiastically.

Then they all went crazy, jumping and spinning and running and dancing.

Apparently Matt had an endless supply of chocolate bars in his bikini because he was running in circles, pulling out chocolate, eating it, throwing the wrapper, and taking out another one.

Mello could only watch.

And then, Near did something that surprised _everyone—_

He had been sliding around the garage since his socks did not produce much friction, but had gotten out of control and crashed into the wall.

"Fuck!" He screeched, clutching his head in pain. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck!"_

There was a stunned silence, and then Matt's voice:

"When Mello curses, it's hot. When Near curses, it's _cute?"_

**Reviews are much appreciated.**


End file.
